It is well-known that many wives don't along with their mother-in-laws. This can be troublesome in trying to keep a healthy marriage and a happy home. This problem can be remedied much in the same way as any other problem. You first need to consider the reason most wives and mother-in-laws do not get along, then you can better decide how to solve this issue and make your family a happier one.
Most mothers wish to maintain control over the lives of their children. This is not because mothers just like to be controlling. This has more to do with the fact that mothers always want and feel as though they know whats best for their child; the mother knows best syndrome. When a woman's son marries, that woman is replaced and feels as though she is no longer needed. More times than not, the wife will do things quite a bit different from the mother and will reject her mother-in-laws attempts to interject her ideas and methods on her.
This will anger the mother-in-law and cause her to "act out" so to speak. She will attempt to point out flaws in her daughter-in-law so that her son will urge her daughter-in-law to do things in the way she would. The mother-in-law will sometimes "pick" on the daughter-in-law causing her to be angered as well. All of this leads to arguing between the wife and mother-in-law, the wife and husband, and the husband and his mother. Sometimes banishment of the mother-in-law and a division of the family will occur.
This needs to be fixed. There is no real reason why a wife and her mother-in-law can't get along and be a part of the same happy family. The first thing the wife should do to is to nicely put her foot down. She needs to let her mother-in-law know that she is in charge in her home and that things will be done her way. This should be done through a decent and friendly, adult sit-down. The wife should discuss this talk with her husband ahead of time and be sure that he is prepared to back her up and stand up to his mother.
After this has been done and the wife has regained her authority in her home; she and her husband should do all that they can to make the mother-in-law feel needed. Find things that you need her for but don't let her know you're searching for stuff for her to do. Asking her to help with chores or with the children will surprisingly make her happier. The wife may initially have to deal with a few snide remarks but those will soon be a thing of the past. The wife should also, if at all possible, incorporate her mother-in-laws advice into her duty as wife; nothing too intrusive though. You may want to try preparing a recipe she's given you, or using a cleaning solution she's shared. Do it quietly, she'll notice and she'll love it. Once things are going good you may want to even ask her advice on something but proceed with caution. Sometimes asking for advice or not taking her advice if you don't agree with it will take you all the way back to square one.
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