Freeing Ourselves from the Past: Living in the Present for Inner Well-Being

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Many of us carry invisible wounds from the past. Sometimes these begin in childhood — moments of neglect, harsh words, or lack of love from parents. Decades later, even after turning sixty or seventy, those old hurts can still echo. They resurface as feelings of being untrusted, unwanted, or misunderstood by family or society.

How can one heal from such deep scars? How do we step out of the shadow of the past and live freely in the present?

---

The Weight of Ego and Self-Image

J. Krishnamurthy often emphasized that suffering is tied to the idea of the "self" — what we call ego. Ego is not arrogance alone; it is the sense of "me" that clings to identity, memories, and opinions.

When we hold tightly to the idea, "I must be valued," every criticism or rejection becomes unbearable. When others fail to recognize us, it feels like betrayal. But if we loosen this grip — if we stop measuring our worth through others’ eyes — much of this pain naturally dissolves.

It is not about denying who we are, but about not fixating on who we think we are.

---

Letting Go of the Past

The past cannot be changed, but our relationship to it can. Reliving old hurts is like replaying the same song again and again — it drowns out the music of the present.

Steps to release:

1. Awareness – Recognize when old memories trigger pain. Simply noticing is the first step to freedom.

2. Non-judgment – Do not label those memories as good or bad. See them as events that happened, nothing more.

3. Acceptance – Understand that parents, family, or society acted from their own limitations. Accepting this truth does not mean approval, but it means not letting their mistakes poison our present.

4. Shift Attention – Each time the past returns, gently bring focus back to the present moment — the people, nature, or activities around you.

---

Living in the Present

Living in the present does not mean forgetting responsibilities. It means not dragging the weight of yesterday into today. A mind free from regret and bitterness naturally becomes lighter, kinder, and more joyful.

For family members, this change can be transformative. When one person in the home lets go of resentment and ego, it creates an atmosphere of trust and love. The circle of pain can finally break.

---

Practical Ways to Practice

• Mindful Breathing: Spend five minutes a day focusing only on your breath. This anchors you in the now.

• Acts of Kindness: Instead of waiting for appreciation, give appreciation freely.

• Silence and Reflection: Dedicate time to sit in silence daily. This creates space between you and your thoughts.

• Forgive, Genuinely: Not for others’ sake, but for your own peace of mind. Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself.

---

Closing Thoughts

The past has shaped us, but it need not define us. By loosening the grip of ego, by not clinging to "self-image," and by returning again and again to the present moment, we can heal.

True well-being is not found in what others think of us, but in the quiet freedom of living fully, here and now.

---

✨ “To understand yourself is the beginning of wisdom.” – J. Krishnamurthy

---

Rain and Ragi Roti – A Taste of Childhood

There is something magical about the bond between rain and food. The earthy aroma of wet soil, the cool breeze through the window, and the comforting warmth of homemade snacks — together they create memories that last a lifetime. For me, that memory is inseparably tied to ragi roti.

Childhood Evenings with Ragi Roti

During my school days, whenever it rained in the evening, my father would step into the kitchen to prepare ragi roti. It was his way of turning an ordinary rainy day into something special for the whole family. After returning home from school, drenched and tired, the smell of fresh ragi roti instantly lifted my mood.

He made it with simple, earthy ingredients — green chillies, chopped coconut pieces, and fresh coriander leaves. The combination was both rustic and flavourful, and the best part was enjoying it while the rain tapped gently on the windows.

The Perfect Companion – Coconut Chutney

Sometimes we paired ragi roti with coconut chutney, its creamy texture perfectly balancing the slightly coarse bite of ragi. On other days, we would eat it plain, just enjoying its natural taste and the comfort it brought. Either way, it was always filling, nourishing, and deeply satisfying.

Nostalgia on a Plate

Even today, whenever the sky darkens and rain begins to pour, the tradition continues. At home, in the evenings, we still prepare ragi roti. Every bite carries me back to those childhood evenings — sitting together as a family, talking, laughing, and enjoying this simple yet hearty dish.

Ragi roti is not just food. For me, it is a memory of love, togetherness, and comfort, passed down from my father and cherished to this day. Rain may come and go, but the bond between rain and ragi roti remains timeless.

"When the skies turn grey and raindrops sing,

Memories of warmth and home they bring.

A plate of ragi roti, simple and true,

Carries the taste of childhood too!"